Bedtime Battles

Oh man. Where do I even begin? 

I guess I'll start with a confession.

The time between getting the kids bathed and getting everyone in the house to finally falling asleep is the worst part of my day. I know we cant be the only parents to feel this way.

My kids find every resource imaginable to fight bedtime. They've got a plethora of excuses as to why they are still up roaming the house....even after we've "put them to bed" five times already.

We have this whole ritual that we go through most nights. On a good night where everything is going right on schedule we start our night time routine at 8:00. We even set the timer to make sure that we stay on track down to the minute. I use a timer in a lot of areas of my life, it's A.D.D. management guys.

Let me break it down for you.

8:00 George's phone reminds us to "begin nighttime routine". 

8-8:15 Bath time and PJ's

8:15-8:45 Playtime and snack time. They have 30 min to watch a tv show, play with each other, play Nintendo with George, color, whatever........and eat a snack.

8:45-9:00 clean up & brush teeth. We help them tidy up their rooms, the playroom, and make sure they brush their teeth well.

9:00 Prayers, story, kisses, bed

Everything is usually rolling right along pretty smoothly until actual bed time hits.

I don't know any other way to type out every problem we are dealing with quickly other than doing a word dump. You'll get the idea, here we go.

right before you close the door Ryder asks for ONE.MORE.THING. But I need my ______. LUCY! GET IN THE BED! Ok, I will lay down with you for 15 min. Finn is hungry. Ryder is doing karate and flips in his bed. Stop acting crazy, go to sleep dude! Lucy follows you in to Ryder's room while you are getting on to him. Lucy, go get back in your bed. WHINING. I will lay down with you, GO! Crying. Lucy falls asleep, you sneak out. On your way down the stairs you pass Ryder's room--um, mommy, can I/you forgot to _____. Ryder, you should have gotten that before now, go to sleep. Go downstairs--YOU ARE FREE! TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE!!! WRONG. 10 min later, you hear feet. You ignore it. Maybe it'll just go away. If we pretend we don't hear her, will she go back to sleep? NO. LUCY! GET IN THE BED! Crying. little feet running. repeat this 3 more times. She comes down again. tears. she melts my heart. come here baby love. I hold Luce. Ryder comes down. Why does Lucy get to stay up and he doesn't? Ugh, ok Ryder go get in your bed, Lucy, Daddy is going to lay down with you. George has been up there for a while, I bet they both fell asleep. Tiptoe up the stairs, wake George up and tell him to come get in the bed. We both stumble down the stairs. George crashes into bed, I give Finn a dream feed(he sleeps in our room). FINALLY we are all asleep. 3:30am I wake up to pee...Oh, Lucy has slithered her way in our bed. Sigh. THE END.

Sometimes I wonder why we even fight it. Why not just let them all pile in our room, who cares? Lucy always winds up in there anyway, why not just let her start out in our room? Well, I honestly wouldn't care, but she won't even go to sleep in our room WITH Finn in there without one of us. And you cant ever just be done with putting Ryder to bed. Its always one.more.thing. and right when you are walking out of his room. You'll almost be out the door......"hey momma". AHHH!!!!! Finn is the only one who is a great sleeper! The 3 month old you lay him down, and he's asleep. All night!

All this boils down to: I WANT TIME ALONE WITH MY HUSBAND!! I know its annoying that I use caps constantly, but I am screaming this shaking my fist towards the sky! I want to sit on the couch with George and talk and eat junk food and watch tv and just hang out for like an hour before we go to sleep. Is that too much to ask?

Please. PLEASE. I am desperate. GIVE ME SOME ADVICE!

Is anyone else going through this? What do you do?! Have you just said forget it and let all the kids pile in your bed? How does that work? I have tried letting Lucy sleep with Ryder, but she usually doesn't want to and on the few times they have its like a 7th grade girls slumber party. Giggling for hours. Endearing and cute at first, but eventually it becomes a problem.

Ok, if you've got this sleep thing down and mastered, show me your ways. If you are in the same boat as me, lets form a support group. We could meet when all of our kids are constantly getting up--hey they aren't sleeping anyway, right?

Baby

I remember when Ryder was a baby I couldnt wait for him to start eating baby food. It was like a countdown for me. Once the three month mark hit I was like "only two more weeks until he can eat sweet potatoes!" WHAT. 

I feel like I was constantly thinking of the next stage with Ryder and wishing his first two years away. When will he start crawling? When will he start walking? When will he be able to hold his own bottle? When will he sleep through the night? When will he potty train? When will he really start talking? Hurry up and grow up.

 Even now it's hard for me to not have that mentality with him. When its your first child it doesnt matter if they are 5 months old or 5 years old, for that first born for the rest of their lives you are a "first time mom". I am a first time mom of a five year old. I have NO FREAKING CLUE when this annoying "silly" stage will end (God, please can it be soon?). I have no idea when he will start getting better about eating, or when he will learn to tie his shoes (now I guess?? I dont know. Should I be working on that? All of his shoes are slip on or velcro though, sooooo......). I don't have any past experience to tell me when phases and stages will end, what to be firm on and what to just let slide under the rug--it's no big deal, it'll pass. I am blindly going about raising an elementary aged son and just hoping and praying I am not making too many mistakes. It sucks not being able to see the other side of the coin. 

But I can see the other side of the coin with Finn. I know all too well that babies eating solid food isn't as exciting as I thought it would be. Remember how their crap used to not really have that bad of a smell? HA! Kiss those days goodbye. Solid food brings out a stench that will make you cry. Solids can stay away for quite some time with Mr. Finn.

When will he walk? When will he crawl?! HA again! One of the stages in life I have the most pity for with parents is the 12 month mark. The kid is either almost or fully mobile, but has no concept of boundaries. Watching parents chase after overly adventurous one year olds, or attempt to make them sit in their laps in waiting rooms for any extended amount of time makes my stomach hurt. And I know that is going to be me again. AHH!

So, please Finn, don't grow up. Stay little. Keep the little dimples in your hands,  keep curling up like a little roly poly when I pick you up, keep wearing your size one diapers and stay small enough to bathe in the sink. 

I have seen the other side of this coin. Twice. And I have wished away these little baby moments mostly with Ryder, and some with Lucy. But I really just want to enjoy and soak up every single ounce of baby goat noises Finn is churning out. 

He is so awesome. 

Light Hearted--but long!

Here is a random list of things. 

 

-If you didnt know, I would describe myself as a mild shopaholic. Buying things gives me such a thrill, and apparently, I have passed this trait onto my daughter. Awesome. My mom isn't much of a shopper, so I can't really go anywhere and "do some damage" shopping with her. But oh, my mini me(er-mini George if we are going by looks) will be my partner in crime. The only problem is--Lucy is VERY girly. The stuff she likes sometimes makes me gag at the froofrooness of it.

 

Exhibit A:

 

See this? WHAT IS THIS? I like the outfit, its cute--minus the tutu shirt. I love a tutu skirt any day on Lu, when evened out with a graphic T. A little girly, a little tomboy.....thats kind of how I dress I guess. I'll rock an awesome long frilly skirt...with converse. I can't have too much prissiness going on. I need balance. But this girl has something different in mind. And I am learning to embrace it. Since you can do practically everything on Facebook these days I have taken to shopping it up at these little boutiques for her. I show her the pictures and she tells me what she likes. Such is the case with this outfit above. So, if your newsfeed gets crowded with outfits I am buying, well, Lu and I apologize :/

-I feel like this tidbit should get it's own post, but since I feel like I don't write as much as I would like to I had better mention it now before it gets lost in my brain and forgotten. My son, Ryder Owen, has the gentlest & kindest heart I have ever seen. Last Saturday was a busy day for us. Ryder's soccer game was at 9 am, then we had two birthday parties right after it. On the way home from the last party I had to drag Lucy out of CHOM screaming. She did NOT want to leave. Part of that was because she loves Willow, part of it was because she was tired, and part of it was because she is Lucy. The end. So she was crying and screaming the whole way home. Now, what would I have done if this was my younger sibling acting a fool? Probably would have looked at Chad(my brother) with hate filled eyes and yelled at my mom to make him be quiet. Yep, I know thats what I would have done. But, Ryder teaches me everyday how to be kind. Ryder holds Lucy's hand and starts singing Jesus Loves me to her. That song has calmed her down from even the worst tantrums and crying fits since she was a baby, and still works oddly enough. Lucy stopped crying completely and Ryder just sang the song over and over to her until we got home. I wish I could say he got his kind unselfish heart from me, but that award goes to my husband. George has the same spirit and I am so grateful that Ryder has this wonderful trait.

 

 

-Today, "Mr. Finn" is one month old. One of the lactation ladies referred to him as Mr. Finn once, and I've always just thought that was funny. He looks like a Mr. Finn. Haha.

For the first week or two we were comparing him to how Lucy was as a baby--which was a freaking DREAM. A dream, people. She NEVER cried. EVER. should I use all caps again? Do you get the point? Even when she was hungry she would just make these little noises, they were never full blown cries. And that's how Finn was, for the first week or two. But he has since shown his true colors, and does become quite the fuss at night. I mean, not too terrible, it just takes a little work for him to calm down for the night.

Right now he is a hoss and drinking 4.5-5 oz every 3.5-4 hours. I know, get ready for the biscuit arms and legs to appear. I pump every 7 hours and get about 9-10 oz every time I pump, so I get enough for 2 feedings before I have to pump again. It's working out great for us, I heart the pump! I only breastfed Ryder for about 3 weeks, I was 22 and had no clue what all BFing entailed and just wasn't mentally prepared for it. I BF Lucy for 6 months, and the only reason I stopped with her was because I got the flu and just could not breastfeed or pump for like 2 days. And since BF is a supply and demand deal the supply went away since the demand went away. I tried and tried and tried to get my supply back once I was well again but it just wasn't happening. Hoping to make it a year with Finn :)

-As for the adults in the Edmondson crew-well, we are contemplating buying a mini van. Oh the horror! I can't handle it. George is all for it, and talks about mini vans and their awesomeness all the time. I, on the other hand, have my eye on the prize....A YukonXL. Yep. I need it. Its way cooler than a van and hello, has the same amount of room....but they are like super expensive. I have been looking around and even the used 5 yr old models are like $36,000. WHOA!! So, alas, it looks like I will be dorking it up with a mini van soon. Just promise not to laugh and me and know that I will regain my cool card when these kids are grown, because I will own a Jeep Wrangler.

Party of Five

So here we are almost four weeks in to being a family of five, and I know you all are dying to know how its going...haha.

Well, get ready, because Im not going to sugar coat it.

Right now, it's really hard.

I've had about 101 people tell me "I heard that once you have your third it's a piece of cake" or  "having the second child is hard, the third and fourth are easy"

I guess there is some truth to these statements, Finn is easy. It's keeping the other two happy and the house running as normal that's hard.

Let me be transparent here: For the first week and a half after we got home, I UGLY CRIED almost every day. Like to the point that my eyes were swollen. 

When we got home from the hospital we were on on own. Thank God George was off for two weeks to help me since I had the C-section. But, there was no help. Im not trying to throw our parents under the bus right now, because they did help with the kids while we were in the hospital, and have since been helpful....but those first two weeks were awful. We couldnt go anywhere so both kids were going crazy being trapped in the house. 

I felt overwhelmed. Even though I've done this twice before it was so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and as the days inched closer and closer to George going back to work I was having serious anxiety.

Then, we get the phone call from the school's voicemail system.

The week that Im dreading, the week George goes back to work, is Ryder's Spring Break. George and I answered both of our phones at the same time and were staring at each other while listening to the message. When it was over I hung up the phone and proceeded to cry for about 10 years. 

I didn't have this written in my calendar, I hadn't known about it. I had been wondering if TCS was going to have spring break since I saw everybody and their brother posting about SB on Facebook. But I guess I was in an after baby haze and didnt really question it any further. 

Thankfully, our moms helped with the kids, and I was only really at home alone with all three of them one day that week. They were life savers. 

Lets fast forward to this week...

I was so pumped Sunday night and on into Monday because I was ready to get back to normal life. I was cleared to drive and my staples were out. Ryder was back at school this week and we could sink back into our regular routine. Monday was awesome.

But when I picked Ryder up from school he complained about his belly hurting...while holding a huge cup of Easter candy he got at school. Oh, well, there's the culprit. I made him stop the candy, and we ate lunch. I didn't hear anymore complaining for the rest of the day. Then that night we ate at Chipotle. On the way home he said his throat hurt and then that he might throw up. He went straight to bed when we got home, and didnt get up until about 3 am when he got sick, everywhere. 

So, he has been home the rest of this week with a sore throat. I took him to the doctor yesterday and was told that it was probably a viral infection and the strep test was negative. So rest, rest, rest is what will make him feel better. Although I think he will be able to return to school tomorrow.He has been very upset about not being able to see his friends :( 

Next week. Next week is our week, people. Hopefully we will all be well, the weather will be pretty and we can attempt to get back to life. 

Right after we came home from the hospital I told George a couple of times to let me know when he was ready to schedule his vasectomy. In those first couple of days I couldn't imagine doing this again. Going through the surgery again, going through the pent up kids, again. But sometimes there will be moments when I know in my heart that we aren't done. I know Finn won't be the last Edmondson baby I hold. 

It has been and still is super hard right now. When George gets home from work we are both worn out and say to each other its not going to be like this forever, it WILL get better. Things WILL even out. 

Anyway, Im not even sure if this made sense....but it was good for me to write this out! 

Fear

I am 100% confident in my ability to be a sane stay-at-home-mom of three. I have no doubt in my mind that George and I will ride the three kid roller coaster with ease, gracefully going over the inevitable bumps that occur with adding a new baby, and in the end making it out alive.

The part I am terrified of though is one little three month period that is approaching very fast. 

The Summer of 2013.

It's like a horror movie title to me. 

Finn will be brand spanking new at 8 weeks old when Ryder gets out of school for the summer. 

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO??

Let me tell you a little about Kristy. 

I LOVE Summer. My mom should have named me Summer, that's how much I love it. I also am not too much of a homebody. I like going places and doing things. And one of my most favorite places to go in the Summer is the pool. Last year, the kids and I were out at the pool EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Our routine was wake up, eat breakfast, pack lunch and pool bags, swimsuit up, be at the pool by 10, stay til 1, go home crash for a nap, wake up, daddy's home, sometimes go back out to the pool, play, eat, bed. Every day. 

I don't know if you've put the problem together or not, but I'm not going to be making the pool a daily part of our lives this summer with an infant. I just cannot referee three kids around water all by myself. 

So, back to the big question. What am I going to do? I feel like homeschooling moms everywhere are laughing at me right now. After all, they are home in the winter, the most depressing and un-fun time of year with children of all ages. But see, I am not cut out of the home-schooling cloth. I think homeschooling is awesome, and applauded moms who stay home and teach their children. It's just not for me, and that's extremely ok. :)

I have taken to Pinterest to find different ideas for Summer, and have found the bucket lists that many people make to be helpful, sort of. Eat Popsicles? Uhh, is that even necessary to write down? We will be consuming our weight in Popsicles this summer, so no need to jot that down as an activity. That be like writing down "using the bathroom" on a summer list. Hello, that's implied. 

One thing I found a couple people on different blogs list was different classes that kids could take. I saw one mother signed her 3 year old daughter up for a 4 week cooking class. That seems like something Lucy or Ryder would enjoy, but I'm pretty sure T-Town doesn't offer anything like that.

I think what is ultimately going to help me is to schedule and plan this summer like a crazy person. I know summer is supposed to be laid back and fun, but if I don't I see a five and two year old who will be arguing and bored out of their minds. 

So, if you would like to help me and suggest a fun activity that I can do with an infant in tow I would love to hear it! Part of me wants to just buy out all of Toys R Us's supply out outdoor water toys and just let them lose in the backyard daily.....but I am not a millionaire :/

Finn Gear

Over the past 3 months or so I have been buying things for Finn as I find good deals....which means that I have been stalking Amazon waiting on stuff to drop $3. 

Here are a few things I am excited about

Didn't I just blog about this diaper bag the other day? I feel like I did....must be because I love it so much. Bento Ultimate Diaper Bag from Skip Hop. This thing is huge, and as far as I'm concerned it was made for families with more than one child. Snack Containers? Yep, will hold Cheese bunnies. It can be a messenger bag or over-the-shoulder. Plus, it has stroller clips. 

I am not usually one to be a brand snob....unless there is good reason to be. Aiden and Anais muslin swaddling blankets are THE BEST blankets in the world. Yes, they cost $38 for 4 thin blankets, but they are worth their weight in gold. No other blanket is as big as these guys or stretches as well. We had some with Lucy and she still loves them and carries these blankets around today. And they get softer with every wash. I have heard rumors of cheaper, off-brand muslin blankets, but I have never laid eyes on them. 

Here we are with the pricy expensive stuff again. Hear me out. I have eczema on my hands. Like really bad. So bad that I don't even bathe my kids..........George does. I have thankfully gotten it under control, but there used to be mornings when I would wake up and (get ready this is gross) my fingers would be a bloody pulpy mess from me scratching uncontrollably in the night. All that is of the past though since I have found this brand. I have with me AT ALL TIMES a little $13 tub of California Baby Calendula Cream. It has been my saving grace. And, I haven't had a breakout in about a year since I have been using it daily. But there is just something about all the baby products, especially Johnson & Johnson lavender(which sucks because it smells so amazing) baby wash and yes, even Aveeno Naturals, and Johnson & Johnsons natural line. They all break my skin out. But not this little gem. I can make this last about 3 months. So I am hoping its worth the money. And please, don't start thinking that we use this on Ryder and Lucy. Um, no. They are rocking Suave Kids shampoo for $2. Once you hit about 18 months you can start using big kid shampoo in this house. 

Puj Tub. Maybe Im a maw maw, but bending down on the floor to bathe a baby was fun the first two times, but I'd like to try my hand and not breaking my back this time around. So, I ordered one of these guys. You can fold it into your sink with one hand and it doesnt take up a ton of space since it lays flat when not in use. 

Baby Trend Travel System in Ion. I actually got a really good deal on this. Our carseat we used with Ryder and Lucy was found in my mother's garage a couple of months ago with cat litter sprinkled throughout. Apparently her cats decided it was a nice bed. GROSS.  

Aqua Crib Bedding from Land of Nod. I have spent hours upon hours going back and forth on what bedding to buy for him. I wanted it to be simple, no bumper, and a fun color. Ryder has already claimed lime green and gray in his new room so I knew I wanted to do something different. I have been staring at  this bedding for quite a while but it took me forever to just click the "add to cart" button because I kept thinking I would find something I liked better for as good of a price. I didn't. I found stuff I liked better, but Im not spending $400 on baby bedding. This was $165 total, including the matching changing pad cover. His room will be a mix of different shades of aqua blue with some gray mixed in. 

I guess that's it! Im excited. Only 7 more weeks to go. Hurry UP!

Resolution?

Yesterday, my friend Ashley and I were talking--er, she was listening to me jump from topic to topic venting about my kids. You need to do that sometimes ya know. Even though they are your sweet children they are still people....and people can get on your last freaking nerve. 

Anyway, the topic of resolutions came up. Ash asked me if I made them, and said she never really gets into it. I do. I don't write them down. I think when it comes to resolutions I always set the bar way too high when I write them down. Then it's just sad to look back in March and see that I really am not on track. All of my resolutions are family oriented. I want to be more purposeful in praying with the kids and as a family, I want to get back on a daily routine, be a better wife, etc. 

But for some reason today as I was driving down the road looking at Lucy in my rear view mirror I thought of a resolution that trumps all of the others. And if I can work on this one thing, I think everything else will be easier to do.

The resolution at hand is finding freedom from my mother. I know I am married with a family of my own, but there's still a little part of me that feels like a 13 year old who has to have her mom's approval. Not so much that I value what she says, but more because I am so envious of families that are close(particularly mother/daughter relationships) that I want her to be happy regarding me. I guess maybe I am painting an unfair picture of my mom. Lets dig deeper.

As far as working, keeping us fed, clothed, and all the normal things a parent does she gets an A+. Even for holidays and birthdays, she was great. happy birthday message on my mirror with balloons when I woke up was always awesome. Vacations? Went to Disney 3 different times, and the beach twice a year every year. I want to be fair to her and say that she did a wonderful job in those aspects of parenting. The part where she failed though, was our day-to-day interactions and relationship. She is a very negative, stressed out  person. 

So, lets talk about the things I am not so fond of. When I was growing up, if we got into an argument she would state her opinion, then run up to her room, slam the door in my face and lock the door for HOURS. Uh, doesn't that sound like what the teenager usually does to the mother?? My relationship was the opposite. I wanted to talk stuff out--I have been told I will talk things to death, she didn't. Meals? UM, McDonald's? Taco Casa? KFC? take your pick. It was the norm for my dad to go to four different places to get dinner for each member of our family. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. if we did eat at home it was frozen pizza or something similar. I do remember on occasion, usually during the summer, there were a couple of meals cooked. Usually fried chicken, corn on the cob, okra, mashed potatoes. Haha, when they did cook they did it right at least! That was also usually the only time we ate at the table. Any other time, each person was in their own space. I ate dinner in my room most nights in front of my little tv watching Friends. 

My mother was a teacher. Which meant she was at home with me and my brother during the summer. Anyone that i know that is a teacher is living it up with their kids when they are out for the year. Not my mom. She would stay in the bed until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. And would be in a terrible mood when she did surface. 

My mother had/has an unhealthy relationship with her parents. She is an only child, and whereas I am not all that close to her, she is the exact opposite with her family. 2 hour long phone calls every day to my grandmother seems a bit much to me. EVERY DAY? Anything and everything my grandparents thought or did my mom was a fan of. It's like she felt as if she couldn't have a difference of opinion from them, or even try anything new. Ex: when my mom has a headache she takes Tylenol. I'm not sure if my mom has ever, EVER used any other pain killer. Why? Because my grandparents don't. Once when I was over there and felt a migraine coming on I asked did she have any Excedrin. She said no with a tone implying that I was an idiot for even asking that, made a face, and said "why do you want Excedrin? I have Tylenol!" She CANNOT veer off the path. For Christmas, when George and I moved into our new house my grandparents got us a dishwasher. We were told to go to Home Depot or Lowe's and pick out any dishwasher we wanted......as long as it was a Kitchen Aid. That's what brand my grandparents like, so naturally that is what brand my mom liked, and I was going to like it too. It wasn't just "we really like the Kitchen Aid brand, theyve always been a great brand and lasted for forever". It was as if any other brand aside from Kitchen Aid was not a reputable company? Maytag, Whirlpool, Kenmore, all crap. Oh, did they have bad experiences with these other brands of appliances? Nope. They have just always used Kitchen Aid, so that's what I will be using as well. The End. 

Maybe these things seem trivial, but to me more important that going on vacations and making birthdays special is making the every day life you live with your family happy. Mine just wasn't. I strive to be a better "everyday mom" for my kids than I had, and look up to my mother for the special memories she did create. 

So, after this long novel, my resolution is this: I will stop caring and trying to word my sentences in a way that I know will please my mom, just for the sake of not making her mad. I give her a very filtered view of my life. Mostly one that I know she will approve of because i feel like a failure when she sighs and makes comments about things we choose to do. I am releasing myself from that. If I stop and think about it (and hello, obviously I have!) I don't want to be the person she is, so why do I give a rats ass if she approves or likes something I am doing. Maybe I can't have that closeness I long for with my own mother, but I can choose to have it with my daughter. And Lucy and I are off to a great start since she already adores me. I plan to keep that feeling alive for the rest of my life :)

So, I can't be the only one out there with a weird mother/daughter relationship. I also can't be the only one who constantly seeks approval, even though they know most of the time they won't get it. Share!